di Krishan Chand Sethi *
La sofferenza è stata il mio maestro, nonché l'ombra che mi ha accompagnato per tutta la vita, plasmando il nucleo stesso del mio essere. Ha guidato i miei pensieri, influenzato le mie decisioni e infine modellato la mia filosofia. Queste esperienze non solo mi hanno cambiato, ma mi hanno spinto a introspezione, riflessione e una profonda ricerca su come la sofferenza influenzi la crescita personale e la comprensione. Questa filosofia non deriva da una teoria speculativa, ma dall'esperienza; credo che possa parlare a chiunque abbia mai sentito il peso del dolore e cercato in esso un significato.
Le origini della mia filosofia
Non ho mai trovato il mio posto tra coloro che sembravano accettare il dolore come parte della crescita. Per la maggior parte delle persone, era solo un ospite indesiderato da evitare, simile a una debolezza. Ma la vita ha avuto il suo modo di cambiare le cose, portando nella mia esistenza perdita, fallimenti e momenti di dubbio personale, spogliando strato dopo strato le illusioni che circondavano la mia identità.
Ricordo distintamente un periodo di fallimento professionale e di dolore personale. Non erano episodi rari, ma quella stagione di sofferenza si protrasse così a lungo da rendere estremamente difficile capire chi fossi e quale fosse il mio valore. Quando un progetto significativo fallì, mi sentii sopraffatto dall'inadeguatezza. In retrospettiva, quel fallimento mi spinse verso la resilienza e la creatività. Solo mesi dopo, affrontando un nuovo progetto con le lezioni apprese, capii l'importanza di quell'esperienza dolorosa.
Imparare a vedere il dolore come un'opportunità di riflessione
La sofferenza mi ha insegnato che la
riflessione è essenziale. Il dolore zittisce il rumore circostante e ti
costringe a confrontarti con i tuoi pensieri. Ho iniziato a pormi domande
profonde:
1.
Questo è davvero importante per me?
2.
Sto vivendo una buona vita?
3.
Cosa vuole insegnarmi questo dolore?
Ho scoperto che la sofferenza contiene opportunità nascoste per la crescita.
Il ruolo della resilienza nella mia storia
La resilienza non è innata, ma si apprende attraverso la sofferenza. Ho capito che è un muscolo che si rafforza con le sfide. In momenti di perdita personale e pressioni professionali, ho trovato una forza interiore che non sapevo di possedere. Ogni sfida superata mi ha insegnato a piegarmi senza spezzarmi.
Empatia: un frutto della sofferenza
La sofferenza mi ha donato empatia. Prima, i problemi degli altri sembravano distanti. Ora, capisco più profondamente le loro esperienze. Questo ha influenzato non solo le mie relazioni personali, ma anche il mio lavoro creativo.
La ricerca di significato nella sofferenza
Durante il mio cammino, mi sono chiesto: perché soffriamo? Cercando risposte nella filosofia e nella spiritualità, ho trovato il pensiero di Viktor Frankl: "Quando non possiamo più cambiare una situazione, siamo sfidati a cambiare noi stessi". Queste parole sono diventate la base della mia filosofia.
Illusioni infrante e chiarezza acquisita
La sofferenza infrange le illusioni sulla giustizia e la prevedibilità della vita. Pur essendo dolorosa, porta chiarezza, aiutandoci a focalizzarci su ciò che conta davvero.
La creatività nata dal dolore
Il dolore ha spesso alimentato il mio viaggio artistico. Nei momenti più difficili, la scrittura è stata un conforto, trasformando il dolore in forza e speranza. Racconto spesso questa esperienza per incoraggiare gli altri a usare la sofferenza come trampolino di lancio creativo.
Sofferenza nelle relazioni e nella comunità
La sofferenza non definisce solo l'individuo, ma anche le relazioni e le comunità. Ho visto la forza che emerge quando le persone si uniscono durante le avversità, trovando sostegno reciproco resilienza collettiva.
Lezioni pratiche dalla sofferenza
1.
Riflettere: la sofferenza insegna, ma richiede tempo per comprendere le
lezioni.
2.
Chiedere aiuto: il dolore non deve essere affrontato da soli.
3. Focalizzarsi sulla crescita: chiedersi "Cosa posso imparare da questo?" trasforma il dolore in opportunità.
Conclusione: la sofferenza come maestro
La sofferenza è il più grande insegnante. Mi ha condotto alla scoperta di me stesso, portandomi resilienza, empatia e creatività. Non segna la fine, ma l'inizio di un cambiamento profondo. Per coloro che sono in preda al dolore, ecco il mio punto di vista: il dolore non segna la fine ma solo l'inizio di un cambiamento profondo. È un'opportunità per crescere, relazionarsi e apprendere quanto siano profonde la tua forza e la tua saggezza. Come dice Rumi: "La ferita è il luogo dove entra la luce". Questa non è una filosofia astratta, ma un'esperienza vissuta che continua a plasmare la mia vita e il mio lavoro.
Dr. Sethi K.C. - (Autore)
Daman, India - Auckland, Nuova Zelanda
Traduzione dall’Inglese a cura della scrittrice
Arch. Franca Colozzo
***
ENGLISH VERSION
My Philosophy: Finding Light in the Shadows of Suffering
Suffering has
been my teacher as well as my shadow following me throughout life, moulding the
very core of myself. It has steered my thoughts, influenced my decisions, and
finally moulded my philosophy. All through these experiences with suffering
have not only changed me but propelled me to introspect, reflect on, and
research deeply how suffering impacts personal growth and understanding. This
philosophy is not from some speculative theory but from experience; I feel that
it can speak to any individual who's ever felt pain's burden and sought ways to
mean it.
The Genesis of My Philosophy
I never found my
place among those who seemed to take pain as part of growth. To everybody's
mind, it was only that unwanted guest-one had to avoid and more resembled
weakness. But life had a way of changing that-together with its other
arrangements-was to bring into life loss, failure, moments of self-doubt, layer
upon layer stripping the illusions which surrounded my self.
I distinctly
recall a period in life, professional failure, and personal grief. Such things
were not rare incidents, but that season of grief dragged on very long, making
it extremely difficult for me to attempt to figure out who I was and where my
worth lay as an individual. A day fell during the occurrence when I made
everything possible to launch a personally and professionally meaningful
project. It didn't happen, and feelings of inadequacy and frustration
overwhelmed me.
Failure was, for
me, just the final end at that time, but in retrospect, it started pointing me
toward my own resilience and creativity. It was only a few months later after
trying another project with all lessons learned from the first one that I
realized how much importance this painful experience was bringing to my life.
Had I not failed, I would not have gained that insight and determination to
succeed.
Learning to Take Pain as an
Opportunity for Reflection
As one of the
first lessons, suffering taught me that reflection is so important. Pain
silences all the other noises around you; thus, you are compelled to be with
your thoughts. To me, silence has become a door in which to get inside myself,
into my mind and soul.
I began to ask myself all the things I would not have
asked before:
1. Is this really the important stuff of life for me?
2. Do I actually live a good life?
3. What in this ache is it that wants me to learn or
know?
Once on
reflection, one of those thoughts of memory of a telling of a close friend's
having lost a job unexpectedly; she floundered over months in some kind of
forlorn effort to recuperate. When we connected, she told me that this
experience woke up something in her about the career she was living at that
time and how unhappy she was with her present-day work life. Art was a passion,
and this moment in her life was suppressed; she quit and became an excellent
artist. This, in itself, was a pretty reflective story of my life, and it
always kept reminding me that within all that suffering there were
opportunities for growth veiled there. It was a lesson not only learned in her
life but one that, I came to see to be valid in my life too.
The Place of Resilience in My
Story
It's not inbuilt,
but learned through suffering. From suffering, my walk has taught me that
resilience is a muscle and the more it gets challenged, the stronger it
gets.That had dark days of personal loss combined with a deadline at the
office. Grief sometimes seems paralyzing but somehow, life moves forward. Then
there was inner strength that I never thought I possessed. Each passing day
came and was taken with excitement; there and the tackling of tasks as well as
challenge after challenge as they were met.
Now, I look back
into those days, and I am pretty sure that some of them taught me something
about resilience. One thing is being about not breaking but bending, at a time
when everything goes wrong.One of such age-old instances is that boy whom I
used to mentor. He had this disastrous series of academic failures which
defeated him at the core. We spent hours sitting and working on his issues
instead of focusing on his ability to learn and adapt. He was in touch again
several years down the line when he shared a success story with me, reminding
me of how resilience could turn even the harshest setbacks triumphant.
Empathy: A Fruit Born of
Suffering
One of the best
presents suffering has given me has been compassion. Before the real world
experiences with pain, I always found people's problems way outside; really
only after I'd gotten past my own storms that I was able to move toward other
people. This one I talked to who was narrating their loss because one of their
kin had just passed away and I was hearing in a deeper understanding. It was
the first time when I was actually able to open up based on my experience in
loss as well, unlike when I previously provided some careless condolence words.
This empathy has
transcended the realm of personal relationships. I believe it has even rubbed
off onto my work or the way I write and, more so, how I come up with ideas.
Now, approaching each project, I come armed with the knowledge that there is a
fellow spirit in our struggle; be it in poetry or prose or even professional
exploits. I try to throw that sense of connection through it, knowing that some
of my words may alleviate pain for another person..
The Search for Meaning in
Suffering
As I journeyed
through my suffering, I started to ask myself a question: Why do we suffer? I
began to search through philosophy, psychology, and spiritual teachings. But
the most important insights came from me looking within. That was one of the
darkest hours in my life when I chanced upon Viktor Frankl. His claim, in pain,
one might find meaning that really, really resonated for me, and his statement
became the very foundation of my philosophy, "When we are no longer able
to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.".
At such moments
of suffering, as when a long illness had to upset all my life, I was frustrated
at first. With time, however, adjusting to the new reality meant focusing on
small but significant activities - writing letters to loved ones, reflecting
upon my goals, and rediscovering the joy of reading - of which I realized that
the unavoidable suffering could be a source of meaning and purpose.
Breaking Illusions and
Gaining Clarity
There is
something about suffering that breaks the illusions we hold dear: life is fair,
predictable, or permanent. It is not a pleasant thing, but perhaps it is the
most clearly illuminating.
The breaking of a
big relationship to me is definitely one of the awakening moments. The ending
broke with the belief of the permanency but also helped in realizing what
really mattered for myself and others. In that way, after getting out of that
stage, I was much more sure about who I am and what I want to see in life. From
this date and each of them, clarity inspired me. This inspires to focus on what
really matters and discard the distractions that often mar our judjudgment.
Pain-Born Creativity
I have used so
much of my artistic journey, it has been an affair with pain. Pain fact has a
capacity for opening up deep points in an individual by bringing emotions
which, probably are hidden. It was one of the most precious works that I had
during the times when everything in my life seemed hopeless. At such a low
point in myself, when I thought about being the worst failure at everything,
writing for me became a comfort. So, that poem, out of all the pain an
experience born of, it was not only a lamentation about pain but was also
something about strength and hope in others.
I have told this
story hundreds of times in workshops and talks, challenging people to use their
suffering as a springboard to creativity. "Your suffering," I tell
them, "isn't something that has just burdened you; it's a reserve of
yet-to-be-unleashed potential.
Suffering in Relationships
and Community
While suffering
describes a person, suffering also defines relationships and communities. I
have experienced many moments in my life in which shared suffering has become a
form of deep bonding. I remember a very trying moment of financial meltdown in
my family. The pressure was unbearable, but it was actually the thing that
brought us together. We found strength in each other's support and, in that
period, it actually became a testament to the power of unity in adversity.
Similarly, I’ve
witnessed communities come together in the face of tragedy. Whether it’s a
natural disaster or a social crisis, there’s a remarkable capacity for
collective resilience that often emerges from shared suffering.
Practical Lessons from
Suffering
Over the years,
I’ve distilled my experiences into a few practical lessons:
1. Accept
Reflection: It takes time to learn from what is being taught by your suffering.
For me, it is indistinguishable as if journaling is a matter of necessity in
this end.
2. Ask for Help:
Pain tends to push people away. It does not have to. Pain does not have to be
lonely. This can come in the form of a friend, a coach, or a support group; all
the difference comes in with the connections.
3. Focus on
Growth: Instead of asking "Why me?", ask yourself, "What can I
learn from this?" Such a mindset has enabled several of my darkest times
to become opportunities for growth.
Conclusion: Suffering as a
Teacher
The greatest
teacher is suffering. Those experiences led me onto the self-discovery path
where resilience, empathy, and creativity are born. That changed not only my
philosophy but also my work, changing the contributions I would be making in
life as a result of suffering that seeds change even though painful. For those
in the grip of pain, here's my view: Pain marks not the end but just the
beginning of deep change. It's an opportunity to grow, to relate, and learn
about how deep your strength and your wisdom are. "The wound is the place
where the Light enters you" as Rumi would put it. This is not a philosophy
but a lived experience-one that continues to shape my life and work. By
suffering, I have given meaning and purpose to a life, and deepened my sense of
self and the world.
Dr. Sethi K.C. - (Author)
Daman, India - Auckland, New Zealand
